Appear Nekkid or be Felt Up!

TSA says that the folks who read the full-nekkid-body scanners are in separate rooms so nobody else can see the nekkid pictures of the people being scanned, and that the scanner readers can’t see the nekkid people’s heads, and that the nekkid pictures are deleted after people go through the scanners.

Well, pardon me if I think that’s bullshit. How do we know TSA is telling the truth? Because it tells us it is? They need to let me in a nekkid-scanner room so I can see for myself (and if I get a little peek at a nekkid woman, well, no biggie—just think of me as another TSA voyeur). And do you really think that the TSA folks aren’t going to keep just a few of those nekkid pictures? Ha. They’re probably on YouTube right now.

Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano suggests—and I’m paraphrasing—that we not get our knickers (the ones TSA can see through) in a twist; if we don’t want anyone to see us nekkid, then we have the option of a letting TSA employees feel us up instead (and from the way I heard a TSA groper describe in advance the groping procedure, some folks are gonna get a little charge out of that). Or we can drive, take a Greyhound or AMTRAK.

Homeland Security argues that violating the rights and sensibilities of Americans is necessary to protect us all from potential terrorist-engineered air disasters, never mind that air travel is always risky, even without terrorist activity. And what about terrorists getting on buses and trains? In the future will TSA make us go through nekkid scanners and submit to body pat-downs to get on a bus or train? And maybe terrorists will resort to hijacking cars, too. How can the administration keep us safe from that? Will we have to drive our vehicles through TSA full-nekkid-auto scanners, or have TSA auto-gropers crawl through our cars before we can leave the driveway?

Will Homeland Security put scanner and groper stations on each city block to prevent terrorists from walking down our streets? Will it put scanner and groper stations at the entrances to buildings? Where will this all stop? Ultimately, will Homeland Security make us walk around nekkid so we can’t hide anything?

Will Americans just forfeit their rights and liberties and submit to humiliation at the hands and scanners of TSA agents in the hope of uncertain protection against attacks by inept would-be terrorists? It is important to note that terrorist attacks have been foiled more by the terrorists themselves than by our security measures.

But I think I know how to get the administration to rethink the nekkid-scanner/government-groper policy. We just need to point out that they’ll be violating the rights, sensibilities and religious beliefs of potential terrorists by looking at them nekkid or subjecting them to full-body feel-ups, and I’m sure the administration will change the policy. After all, the administration has demonstrated more concern about the rights of non-citizens and alleged terrorists than those of air-traveling American citizens.